I had my years of chasing happiness, of always feeling that if only I had a boyfriend, if only I could change certain aspects of my job, if only my circumstances could be just the way I wanted them, then I would be happy and free from the bouts of depression I struggled with.
Two years ago I hit a low point. I felt that all the cards had been stacked against me, that I must be the most horrible person in the world, and that I wasn’t worth anything. In desperation I asked God to do something—anything—to pull me out of the morass I was sinking into.
In one of my times of prayer, He helped me see that a major reason I was so down was that I wasn’t willing to accept and make the most of the situation I was in. It was true. I felt that the problem was always with my circumstances, never with me. Accepting my circumstances, whatever they happened to be at the time, seemed impossible at first. That made me even more depressed, but finally I gave in and asked God to help me to accept that truth—that the real problem was not my circumstances, but my attitude toward them.
Once I was willing to let God change my attitude, He did the rest. For example, before long He brought a wonderful person into my life, and that reassured me of His love and boosted my self-esteem.
I am still hit by depression from time to time, but now when it starts to pull me down its dark path I know I don’t have to give in. I have learned that happiness is a choice, and one that I must make every day. Circumstances don’t need to be perfect for me to choose to be happy and thankful for what I have and to make the most of it.